The Piddling Pup
Here is a well known bawdy poem, "The Piddling Pup", that has been set to
music. The recording below is from the Australia record
Ribald Classics Vol. 4: Bang Away Lulu (n.d. ca 1978).
- PETE, THE PIDDLING PUP
A farmer's dog once came to town,
His Christian name was Spot.
He had a noble pedigree,
It was Penis out of Twat [?].
And as he trotted up the street
It was wonderful to see
Him piss upon each lamppost,
And piss upon each tree.
He pissed upon each gateway,
He pissed upon each post,
For pissing was his specialty
And pissing was his boast.
The city curs looked on amazed,
With growing jealous rage
To see a simple country dog
The pisser of the age.
And just to show his mettle,
That he didn't care a damn
He trotted to a grocer's shop
And pissed upon a ham.
He pissed against the grocer's leg.
He pissed upon the floor,
'Til the grocer with a bull's-eye kick
Sent him pissing out the door.
They sent for champion pissers
In training and condition
Who sometimes did a pissing stunt
Or pissed for exhibition.
They sprang them on him suddenly
One midday in the town.
But Spot so deftly polished off
The best of white and brown.
Then Spot sought out new pissing ground
Mid piles of scrap until [?]
The boldest pisser of them all
Was pissed to a standstill.
Then followed free-hand pissing
With fancy flirts and flings
Such as 'double drop' and 'gimlet twist'
And such like graceful things.
But never a wink gave the farmer's dog
Nor wine, nor bark or grin
He pissed his journey out of town
As same as he pissed in.
The city dogs curs in Latin phrase
Lost all their conceitness
And never guessed until this day
That Spot had diabetes!
The text above is different from every one I have seen online. The
earliest report of poem is in Immortalia on pgs. 28-30 under the title
"Diabetic Dog".
This poem is attributed to Leslie Sarony (see here:
http://www.monologues.co.uk/Piddling_Pete.htm ). Leslie Sarony was a
English music hall comedian and writer of the well known song "Isn't Grand Boys
To Be Bloody Well Dead". I have not been able to confirm Leslie Sarony
authorship of this poem/song.
I am familiar with this poem as a RECITATION -- For an example from the
1930's
click here -- but the above recording is the only example of this poem being
SUNG.
If anyone has more details about this poem or if you know this poem as a
SONG, please feel free to email me at
.
Thanks!
. Thanks! John Patrick.